This is not a political post, though you may think so at first.
I think the President is a scumbag.
Why? Lots of reasons, that are pretty obvious to anyone paying attention.
The question I have to ask myself, though, is why, late at night, alone on my couch, do I suddenly start broadcasting this opinion on social media?
I’ll admit, it’s been really hard for me to watch people I love and respect make excuse after excuse for the shameful behavior of a petty man in hopes of getting something they want politically. I understand the lesser of two evils argument, but not the cheerleading and belief that our new President is going to bring America back to a Godly nation when A) it never was one and B) he’s quite an unGodly character.
But I digress.
The issue at hand is legacy.
We are, to the people outside our immediate friends and family, the sum of the cards we’re dealt and the actions we choose.
We can’t choose our cards. We’re born into the families, bodies, and geography we’re born into. We can’t change that. But what we can control is what we do with what we’re given. And that’s the legacy we leave.
Our President was born into great wealth, yet is leaving a legacy of bullying, selling shoddy products and walking in on teenage girls in the changing room because he can get away with it. That’s not great. It’s the definition of foolishness.
So when I’m alone, after a hard day’s work, and I’m tired and scrolling through the news or social media, why don’t I think about the legacy of the actions ahead of me? I can go to bed. That would be smart. I could read a good book. I like books. I have a great little library six feet away.
Then why do I post snippy comments and pick fights with strangers who disagree with me? I can claim that it’s out of my love for my country or the Church, which I’ve claimed. I can say I’m “raising my voice” against evil, which can be a good and noble thing. All of those ideas may have an element of truth to them, however, when I slow my heart rate and take an honest look, that’s not why I’m posting that stuff.
I’m doing it because I want to feel like I’m I’m right and I’m in control.
I’m posting because that man is an easy target. His failings are obvious and plentiful. It’s quite simple to focus on that, rail against it, and feel self-righteous. But I’m not righteous. No, not one part of me. But it’s a quick little endorphin hit to attack moral failure and watch the “likes” stack up. To tussle with the same three people that always rush to stand up for him.
That’s why. And that’s not ok. You know what I’m not doing when I’m acting like this?
I’m not repenting of my own sin. I’m not looking honestly at my own moral failings, which are also plentiful, but a little harder to see. I’m playing God instead of trusting God.
I’m not getting good rest or working on the new record I’m so excited to share with you.
Who’s the fool now?
So this is my apology to you, my friends/social media connections. I’ve wasted your time and your energy to make myself feel “powerful” for two seconds. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry to my family, for being a dad and husband who’s tired and cranky cause he didn’t get enough sleep because he was picking fights about confederate statues or the NFL or some other thing he doesn’t really care that much about.
I’m sorry to my friends who’s heads must hurt from continually rolling their eyes at the messes I get myself into.
I’m sorry if you disagree with my politics and I made you feel belittled or judged. It may be ironic, but it’s not ok. And I apologize.
I’m sorry to our President, for obsessing about your failures instead of praying for you, and for focusing on your evils and not looking for the broken man in need of redemption.
I'm NOT sorry for standing up for what I believe is right, or calling out what I believe is evil. I do not need to accept your actions or behavior or believe you’re fit for your job. I just need to do this humbly and with wisdom.
There is hope for all of us. Thank you, Jesus.
I can’t choose the cards I was dealt, but I can choose how I play them. What do I want my legacy to be? If you know me, I hope it’s a legacy of kindness, thoughtfulness, humor and compassion. Of repentance and humble obedience. (Oh, the work I have to do…)
If you don’t know me, I hope you hear my music or see the work of the communities I’m a part of. I hope that leaves a legacy of beauty, truth, thoughtfulness and honesty.
I have the feeling my sniping on the internet is not helping build either of those legacies. So I should probably stop.
Wouldn’t hurt to follow the old 12-step advice: H.A.L.T. Be careful with your actions when you’re Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. (As a self-employed father of three that means to be careful with my actions every second of every day.)
So the next time I’m up late, and he does something else stupid that gets me riled up and wanting to feel like some tiny emperor of my own Facebook thread, I’m going to try to shut the computer and go to bed.
There are times to raise my voice and to stand up for what is right. I just need to choose my battles and do it with respect and humility.
Thanks for your patience, your kindness, and your forgiveness.
Now I’m going to shut this computer and get back to work on my record.