the awards show

My wife loves award shows. I don't necessarily mind them, but I am no fun to watch them with. I get all high-school artsy-fart and start mocking all the beautiful and successful people who win the awards for being more beautiful and successful than the others. I like to point out how self-obsessed they are, while letting it sink in that since I'm folding a little laundry or holding a fussy baby that I am so not. I am awesome and humble.

Then when The Office or The Departed doesn't win it confirms my suspicions. The stuff I like is way over the heads of all the rest of everybody. If they weren't so vapid and selfish they'd see that I was right.

Tonight it was the Golden Globes. This movie called The Queen won everything. I think they made up new awards so it could win it. Best Motion Picture that rhymes with 'The Bween'. I never understood why people in this day and age care at all about British Royalty. They were born really rich and they don't actually do anything. Sort of like Paris Hilton, without the video...

At least nobody performed, so there was no lip-syncing or (worse?) actual attempted singing by people who couldn't find a note in a 7th grader's locker. Cause then I get real cocky. I'm a professional. I have standards.

So now the show is over. Sadie's been a little sick, but she's finally asleep in her swing and I can type with both hands for a few minutes. The lights are low and the house is finally quiet. Somewhere in L.A. the winners are partying and the losers are still good-looking millionaires. And just like in high school, I'm making sure everybody knows I don't think the cool kids are so cool. Because I'm not one of them.