if he were still in office, I'd vote him out

People often come up to me and say, "what can you possibly have against Ben Franklin?" And I tell them, just as I tell you now, it's because he won't let me sleep.

My first question is a tangent, let's get that out of the way. When ol' Ben tied a key to a kite, sent it out into the stormy sky and learned that lightning had electricity, did he get the snot shocked out of him? Seems like he would have. How come nobody ever writes about the three days he spent in the hospital with third degree burns in the shape of the key to the city of Philadelphia on his palms?

I digress.

Ben Frankling harnessed electricity. This was a huge thing. It allowed for the invention of the light bulb. I forget the source, but I believe it was the Smithsonian Institute, that said the light bulb was the single most life-changing invention since the wheel. Bigger than the printing press, the airplane or the internet. Why? Because it changed the length of the day. Because of the light bulb businesses can run at night, people can stay up later, our streets are bright at night. Sure, candles did that stuff, but apparently there was no comparison between the before and after. Interesting, I know. Somebody feel like googling that study and linking to it?

Ben Franklin also came up with Daylight Savings. This was a great invention for people who live on the Western half of their respective time zones. Here in the Eastern half, the daylight shows up at 5:30 am and it's dark, and I mean dark, by 5 pm. This is very lame.

The daylight we saved is the daylight I don't want.

This phenomenon has been making Ella wake up a good hour to two hours earlier than she did a couple weeks ago. I'm a musician. Before I got married I used to wake up at around 1 in the afternoon. I got married and it shifted to 11, then as the studio took off, it got closer to 10 and then 9:30. Well, now it's 8 and I want it to stop.

I realize most of you get up at 5, go to the gym, eat breakfast with your kids and are at the office by 8. But you have benefits and a retirement plan. Musicians don't have that stuff. We get free gear and the bragging rights of sleeping in. In my eyes, this makes us even.

Well, now I'm staying up til 1 or 2 am, which used to seem early, trying to write songs and get to a million points in Super Text Twist. And I'm waking up with Ella at 6:30 or 7. And I'm tired.

And it's all Ben Franklin's fault.

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